THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Breaking the Cycle
So how do we break this vicious cycle? It all can be broken by making one decision. It is not always an easy decision, but a high reward can come from making it. It can be summed up in one word —forgiveness.
“But, you don’t know what they DID to me! You don’t understand the level of the hurt or the result of the offense! Am I supposed to allow this person to continue to step all over me emotionally?”
You are right. I can only tell you in my own life what forgiving someone has done. It freed me to love again. It opened up the door to reconciliation on my part. Forgiveness shows another person the strength of your character, the depth of your love, and the power of mercy. There are still people in my life that are dear to my heart who have not reconciled with me. I have done what I can on my end to facil- itate it, and I am continually reminded of the hurt and the issue. The response that gives me the most peace is to forgive every time I am reminded of the hurt caused.
Don’t take my word for it. Let’s look at a couple of Scriptures for counsel.
“Do not bear a grudge against others, but settle your differences with them, so that you will not commit a sin because of them. Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord.” (Lev. 19:17–18)
The law is being given to the Israelites in the wilderness. Healthy relationships were of paramount importance when you have a couple million people roaming the desert. Forgiveness breeds a healthy community.
Forgiving others is one of the commands that has lasted throughout time! It was not just a New Testament concept that Jesus brought to us in his ministry. Relational reconciliation was commanded long before, and it is recorded in Leviticus as well as in other parts of the Old Testament.
There are only a few of the Ten Commandments that instruct on loving God, but the rest are concerning how we treat others in relationship. Jesus took the Law and not only fulfilled it with his life and ministry, but he also taught deeper than the religious leaders ever could because he was the Author of the Law. He explained his original intent—matters of the heart and how we live in relationship with other people.
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.’” (Matt. 18:21–22)